iamned.com

How To Land a Good Job

It doesn’t have to be like this
All we need to do is make sure we keep buying

Stress test? Job Loss? Flu? Recession? What…Me worry? Noooo.

I’m getting tired of all the wining about job loss and recession. If you can’t find a job improve your skill set or work for less pay. In this guide I will show you how to do the former. That’s my way of ‘giving back’ to those who have been impacted by the worst supposed recession since the 30’s or 70’s or whenever.

As we know, the manufacturing jobs are being outsourced, insourced or automated, but there is still hope for job seekers. The service sector (fast food, Wall-Mart door greeter, nail & waxing salon, legal, healthcare) and high tech (facebook, apple, google, web 2.0, twitter) are growth industries because they create value and profit for employers. This is capitalism & free markets at work.

To work in the higher paying high tech industries it is recommended that you become technologically literate. If you don’t already own a computer, buy one. If you already have a computer make sure it plugged in and has internet and so you can send email.

Then proceed to compose your resume with notepad (make sure your computer has a keyboard before attempting this)

It is advised that your resume include your name, phone number, email address (to show technological proficiency), birthday, height, birth weight, birth height, present weight, hair & eye color, waistline (in an effort to improve efficiency companies are penalizing employees who have heath risk factors such as obesity). The resume should also list your hobbies and talents so that you stand out. For example, list your favorite TV show, travel destinations, movie, sports team, or Looney Toons character. If you have any unique skills (e.g., ability to hold your breath a really long time, extra sensory perception), be sure to list them.

Finally, proceed to email it to employers or put it on monster.com.

Once you’ve completed these steps you will have a competitive edge, and you should start getting high paying job offers almost immediately (check your email!).

I hope this helps.